ACURA: Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
AMC: A Major Cost
AMC: A Morons Car
AMC: A Mutated Car
AMC: All Makes Combined
AMC: Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI: Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
AUDI: All Unsafe Designs Implemented
AUDI: Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
AUDI: Another Ugly Duetsche Invention
AUDI: Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW: Babbling Mechanical Wench
BMW: Barely Moving Wreck
BMW: Bayerische Motoren Werke
BMW: Beastly Monstrous Wonder
BMW: Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
BMW: Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BMW: Big Money Waste
BMW: Big Money Works
BMW: Big Money. Why
BMW: Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BMW: Born Moderately Wealthy
BMW: Breaks Most Wrenches
BMW: Bring Many Wrenches
BMW: Brings Me Women
BMW: Brings More Women
BMW: Broke My Wallet
BMW: Broken Money Waster
BMW: Broken Monstrous Wonder
BMW: Brutal Money Waster
BMW: Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
BUICK: Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
Buick: Big Ugly Import Car Killer
BUICK: Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
BUICK: Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
CADILLAC: Cars Are Driven In Long Lines And Crashed
CADILLAC: Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
CHEVROLET: Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
CHEVROLET: Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVROLET: Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle, Or Loud Engine Ticks